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The Shoe Box

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'
'Oh, she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.

Commentary

Michael Jackson - Enough Already
There is other news to talk about
by Ray Sabb, Editor

Cromwell, CT - June 27, 2009 - Like everyone else, first thing I do in the morning is turn on the coffee and the news.
What do you hear? "Michael Jackson this, Michael Jackson that."

Enough already. Listen, Michael Jackson died before his time. I accept that his passing will and has had an impact on the entertainment society world wide. But enough is enough.

There is other news to report on. So we lost the King of Pop, we also lost the King of Rock (Elvis), but we also lost lost this last week entertainers that are more worthy of press time than Jacko. People like Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon and Gertrude "Sue" Whalen, 80, of Southington, CT. Who!

Yes, Gertrude Whalen. Now I think that this wonderful person should be on the news as she led a good clean life.
Not one that included eccentric ideals, or a bunch of law suits for molesting children, or hanging babies off a balcony.
A good person that all she did was live a decent life, work an honest job and die with dignity. Lets write about that.

Lets write about someone like Farrah Fawcett whose courage over the past 2 1/2 years was documented so that (not as an actress but as a cancer patient), people could see that it is a painful process to beat cancer.

So I say this, "Enough Already!" Lets all move on. We die, sadly that is what happens and if you abuse your body with drugs and life altering surgeries, your body is going to fight back and Michael Jacksons body did. I cannot feel sorry for him, I can for his family but they are as guilty as he is for they didn't stop him.

So if you think that I am wrong, then you know the drill.... Email is below....

-Ray Sabb, Editor
Contact: EMAIL

I love this Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO, Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride' AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.